I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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