You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
