i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
