I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize