Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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