He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
