I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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