First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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