I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
