lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
