For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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