i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
