I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
