I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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