Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
