Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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