Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
a search helicopter?!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
