just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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