Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
