all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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