i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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