after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
