i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
