This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
