Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
