just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
