uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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