mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
