entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
