I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
