So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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