May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
