As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize