Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
