Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
