so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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