Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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