Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
