Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize