How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize