I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
