I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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