I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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