ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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