Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
