Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
