I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
soo... how was my night?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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