Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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