I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i out mim tonsoeep
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