Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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