what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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