We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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