You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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