shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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