the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
