have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize