hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
