We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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