Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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